Peter's farts
by Champ585
Summary: My first fanfic...it's kinda bad. But the idea is pretty good, I think. If I had taken more time it could've been a lot better. But then, it seems like it'd be against Family Guy's image to actually write in detail.
1. Chapter 1

"heh heh heh heh"

"shut up dad!"

"you said penis! heh heh heh."

"Your so immature!"

Meg and peter were having a "discusion" about Meg's new sex ed class.

"Besides, your too toung to know about sex!" peter said firmly.

"I'M SEVENTEEN DAD!"

"really? I thought you were one, oh, wait thats stewie." Peter farted.

"OH, DAD! Uh, that's dis-" She stopped in midsentence because she passed out. Suddenly Chris fell through the ceiling, He had also passed out. "heh heh heh heh" Lois came down wondering what the noise was.

"Oh my gosh, Peter, what did you do?" She exclaimed.

"I farted!" he said happily.

"What?! Peter we got to call the ambulance! You know what happened last time you farted!" She yelled, scared. Out of nowhere stewie fell through the hole chris made, jumping up and down on his stomach.

"ha ha ha, this is fun. OW! I'm okay, i just hit the ceiling." said stewie. Shortly after he passed out still bouncing on chris's stomach.

"OMG OMG! Peter, hurry befor I pass ou-" lois passed out.

"Whoa, i have a super power! I can make people go to sleep!" peter said. "but while Lois is passed out..."


	2. Chapter 2

"Wow, that was great!" Peter said dressing. "oh crap, I forgot to call the ambulance!"

when the doctors got there they immediatly passed out. Peter backed away slowly than ran out the door.

Suddenly, an alarm! "This looks like a job for..." Peter started, then tried to put his cape on, but it ended up geting tangled up around him. "Someone else!"

Later after Lois had gotten out of her fart enduced coma, Peter and her went out to dinner.

"Excuse me sir, may we get some more bread?" Lois asked the waiter.

"You's have to wait a moment m'am, for some reason everyone likes Our bread."

"WE DON'T HAVE TO WAIT!" peter yelled, then stuck his butt in the waiters face. "I have a loaded butt and unless you want me to fire it you'll get us bread!"

"Peter, that sounds wrong and get your ass out of his face." Lois said.

"You'll have to wait sir." the waiter told him sternly

"You dare disobey Peter The Fartmaster?! Take this!" and peter procedded to fart in the waiters face.

"Oh God, Everyone get out of the reasturant!" Lois exclaimed.

Of course everyone didn't beleive Lois, and promply passed out. Peter decided to get his own bread from the kitchen, but as soon as it smelled his fart it molded.

"Huh? Wait a minute, I can sue the place and make millions!" Peter said, "nah, I'd rather just get money from the bank"  
Peter walked into the bank, forgeting to call the ambulance to help, again. He had just eaten some beans and was ready to blow. He farted as silently as possible. Luckily for peter, no one heard it.

As soon as everyone was knocked out he went to the safe and took out all the money, that he wanted anyway. 


	3. Chapter 3

Peter decided to go to Quagmire's house. But Quagmire was busy.

"Quagmire! Guess what?!" Peter yelled kicking in Quagmire's door, revealing him naked and "busy" with a latino hooker.

"Peter, what the hell?! I'm tryin' to get laid here!"

"Fine, I'll show you by force, watch." Peter stripped down and stuck his ass in Quagmire's and his prostitutes face, and farted his loudest most disgusting fart, and accidently pooped a little.

"Ahh! Peter, you sha-" Then passed out, while the hooker looked for his pants to get the money.

"Why didn't you pass out?" asked Peter.

"Trust me, I've smelled worse."

After Peter left, and the hooker stole Quagmire's wallet, Peter went to Joe's house.

"Hey, Joe! I betcha you can't guess what I can do!"

"peter, I already know you make people get boner's with your mind."

"no, it's even better!" Peter said

"What? did you got to hogwarts?"

_"Hey, Harry, what are you gonna do after school?" Peter asked._

_"well Ron, Hermonie (_spelled wrong) _were_ _gonna do some crack, but malfoy got it and gave it to Snape to suck up." _

_"wow what a bitch"_

_"yeah, and it turns out he's had a sex change, so he's a guy now"_

"No, I can fart and make people pass out. how cool is that?" Peter exclaimed.

"That's gross peter."

"Oh, yeah? Well take this!" and Peter sat on Joe.

"Peter! PETER! GET OFF!" and then there was a crack.

"Oh, my god, I can feel my legs again!!" Joe said, and stood up and danced around, "YES YES YES YES HOLY #!!" Then Peter tackled him and there was another crack. "never mind."

Then Peter farted, right down Joe's throat. "Oh... oh god... I TASTED IT GRRROOOOOOOOSSSS! And he passed out peter fart three more times before he left.

He went to Clevelands and he had heard what happened, and shoved a cork up his ass, cutting his fart glan.

"Crap, YOU RUINED MY POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR!"

"Wow. Peter. Don't. Exagerate." Said cleveland.

Peter went to the doctor but the cork wouldn't come out. So he never farted again.

Chris, farts thump thump thump "Cool! I inherited the power!"

The End

?


End file.
